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Welcome to The Very Simon G. My blog has been going for nearly a decade, but there ain’t getting away from me just yet! Come in for fashion, fun and everything in between. Enjoy!
Welcome to The Very Simon G. My blog has been going for nearly a decade, but there ain’t getting away from me just yet! Come in for fashion, fun and everything in between. Enjoy!
Back in July 2019 I took a picture of this page in Attitude magazine and put it on my Instagram Stories. Not because I was overcome with pride. Nor because I wanted to shout to the world I’ll be heading to Brighton and Hove. And definitely not because I fancied this guy, however handsome he might be.
It was because the choice of this picture shocked me.
I came across the image again this week on my phone’s camera roll and was compelled to write how I felt about it, so bear with me. And remember, this is my opinion ONLY.
There are four naked torsos visible in this shot. No, that’s not why it shocked me, I’m not that much of a prude. All four men have incredibly well-toned bodies, obviously hours and hours of pumping iron and hundreds of pounds of gym memberships have gone into them. I applaud these men, not only for looking fantastic and keeping in brilliant shape, but also because of the pure dedication it takes to look like this is basically a full time job in itself. But my problem is not with these men. They have done absolutely nothing wrong.
My problem is with the Picture Editor. The magazine’s Editor. The multiple other people that would have signed off this page. In my eyes, it’s a huge irresponsibility. This picture says to me: THIS IS PRIDE. THIS IS BEING GAY. THIS IS WHAT ALL MEN AT PRIDE LOOK LIKE. THIS IS WHAT GAY MEN LIKE TO LOOK AT.
I’ve been called dramatic before, quite a few times actually, and if this was a one off photographic representation of a major gay event in the UK annual calendar I might agree, but this is why my reaction is thoroughly valid when it comes to the choice of this picture in this magazine (other than that it’s my own opinion, and no one’s opinions are invalid): IN THE 100-ODD PAGES IN THIS, AND MANY ISSUES OF ATTITUDE MAGAZINE THERE WAS ROUGHLY TWO PICTURES OF BODIES THAT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE THESE. THIS IS A DANGEROUS PORTRAYAL FOR IMPRESSIONAL YOUNG GAY MEN. FULL STOP.
Let me rewind 21 years. I was 16-years-old and 21 stone. I remember going to G-A-Y club at the Hippodrome with my friend, Zoe. I remember vividly that I was wearing a forest green short sleeve shirt from Next which had a floral print across one shoulder. I was so painfully unconfident about my body. I hated it and thought everyone else did too. It was a really hard time for me personally, because let’s face it, gay culture has always hinted to Adonis-like men with washboard stomachs. And there I was, a ‘morbidly obese’ teenager who desperately wanted to experience gay life in all its forms.
Thankfully I wasn’t into buying magazines back then because if I had been, it probably would have been Attitude, being one of only a few gay titles. At 16-years-old, with rock-bottom confidence, scared to even so much as look at another homosexual for fear of instant rejection - could you imagine what I would have felt opening up to a page with this picture on? Screaming to every gay reading it that THIS IS WHAT PRIDE LOOKS LIKE.
Luckily now there are lots of brilliant LGBTQ+ media outlets that represent us all with different people, different bodies, different races being featured. Surely though gay magazines should do the same, especially in this day and age? Am I being too literal? Am I being too sensitive? Should I take Attitude on face or body value? Does it say what it does on the tin - serve ATTITUDE? Why fix it if it ain’t broke? You may be nodding in agreement to all those questions, but it still irks me. No, it really bloody worries me. And we should absolutely fix it because it is absolutely broken.
According to the Mental Health Foundation, ‘Lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender people may be more susceptible to mental health problems than heterosexual people due to a range of factors, including discrimination and inequalities… Members of the LGBT community are more likely to experience a range of mental health problems such as depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm and alcohol and substance misuse.’ Why then are we perpetuating inequalities from within our own community? Why has Attitude magazine, and other gay titles taken it upon themselves to serve just ONE ideal of male bodies? Do you see now how dangerous this seemingly innocent picture of four topless men at gay pride actually is?
If it has made me feel this way, this riled, imagine what it does to all the thousands of young gay men that are looking for some kind of direction, some kind of comfort and knowing and understanding and acceptance from the ‘authoritarian media’. Pride is a celebration of EVERYONE. The Picture Editor could have easily ran with a collage of images from past Brighton Pride events that represent ALL bodies. Or, SHOCK HORROR, filled that piece of real estate on that page with someone who has a belly or moobs or a bit of back fat, someone how has a ‘real’ body.
It can’t be just me that would want to see that. In fact, most, if not all of my gay male friends have ‘real’ bodies. We are all concealing a little lump or bump somewhere about our person. Yes, some may strive for a six pack still, but lots of us are happy in our skin now. So why can’t that be portrayed somewhere, ANYWHERE on the pages? Surely a very very large percentage of the readers of Attitude Magazine are like me and my friends?
From turning 17-years-old, I’ve been on every fad diet in the book, lost and gained stones, had great and awful relationships with food and come out the other end loving the body I have. It’s a daily practice, and sometimes a battle. Sure, I sometimes squeeze a lump or bump and wish it wasn’t there - I’m human - but on the whole, I’m 95% more confident in my body now than I was at 17. I can tell you now, from experience, that if you work your whole life to be a certain size, an ideal body type that is put out by the media, you’ll be unhappy. The natural state of your body, the way it is when you just eat healthy and do some regular exercise is how it is constructed in your DNA. You can try and change it all you want, but it won’t stop your body screaming from the inside to go back to it’s ‘normal’ form. It has taken me a long time to come to realise that a) it’s not unhealthy to have a different shape body from the media’s ‘norm’ and b) you don’t have to exercise like a demon for ANYONE else but yourself, and even then, it’s OK not to want to change your body shape with weights.
This picture of four topless men at Brighton Pride is fabulous and for some, a huge turn on. As I said at the beginning, I have nothing against these men. I do however think Attitude Magazine has a lot to answer for when a gay teenage boy who might have zero body confidence like I did, looks at its pages full with bodies like these and questions himself, his body and his community.
