If you look at my plethora of female heroes, which I often force on ya'll, nearly all of them have had some kind of breast enhancing, face freshening, fat sucking surgical procedure. Don't worry, it's not a weird obsession of mine. I don't secretly stalk those who have had a little bit of doctor-help. It's merely that they all have one thing in common - they want to grow old looking young - I know, an oxymoron if ever I saw one.
Dolly Parton is the first to admit to surgery. In a TV interview she said: "If I see something saggin', baggin', or draggin', I'm gonna have it nipped, tucked or sucked!" And why not? If you have the money, and you're not happy with a part of your body, you can fix it! Joan Rivers commented in an interview: "Anyone out there who thinks they don't like their nose, do something about it! You go through life once. Fix your teeth... My motto is 'better a new face coming out of an old car than an old face coming out of a new car'. Spend your money on you".
I'm going to admit something to you, lovely reader. I've had surgery. Liposuction. On my 'moobs' (man boobs). I actually had the surgery through the NHS, it's a recognised condition, namely gynecomastia, so I had no huge bill at the end. Some may think it's wrong to have such a condition paid for by the state, but I say NO IT DEFINITELY AIN'T! The amount of people who go through the NHS to stop smoking or for a gastric band is much higher than those for cosmetic surgery. Although that is one phrase utterly and categorically band from any NHS board meeting - it's absolutely not cosmetic surgery, it's for health reasons, sorry. Don't be fooled though, it wasn't an easy process. I had to be assessed, my case taken to the NHS board, regular meetings with a medical psychiatrist... I really needed the surgery.
Two years on and I love the outcome. I now take my tee off on the beach, which is a HUGE step. But now I would like a tummy tuck, unfortunately not covered on the NHS. You see, once you have one procedure you do want more. And I'm up for it. Let me tell you, me aged 60 might need some facial enhancement, and I'm fully prepared. I feel like I've had a crash course anyway, from the amount of press there is in relation to the idea.
From Heidi Montag's well documented surgery stint to Jordan's, sorry Katie Price's multiple
boob jobs and from Michael Douglas' face lift to Michael Jackson's (RIP) pointy little nose -
we are very much a society of plastic surgery now. We see it almost everyday on the front of
one magazine or another. People are getting younger and younger when they go under the
knife, and in fact, strange as it may seem to say out loud, they are getting older and older too.
Just like Dolly Parton said, "You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap". Do you think we'll all be saying that one day? I might well be, and these people, these amazing, talented people, probably will (or do) too. I'm not condemning anything, similarly I am not condoning it, all I'm saying is that although it may seem scary to do, don't veto it altogether.
The Patron Saint of Plastic...
