I'M GETTING MARRIED! Did you know? Did you hear? If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram you probably would have seen me talking endlessly already about my surprise proposal (he proposed on New Years Eve, in Monte Carlo, over looking the bay - I know, unbelievable right?), my gorgeous ring (that he designed), venues, clothes, caterers, the lot!It's so exciting, however it does have it's stresses. Being a gay couple has it's major setbacks from the very beginning - it's not actually a marriage but a civil partnership until the laws change completely, and then there's that stigma that every gay wedding (between two men anyway) should involve the following:
- White suits and pink ties, or one in a white suit one in drag
- Swans
- Liza Minelli suddenly appearing, puffing along to Beyonce's Single Ladies (DYING for this at our wedding)
- More drag queens performing
- Glitter balls everywhere
- Dress code: 'Sequins'
- and rainbow flags everywhere
I'm here to tell you that the above is not always the way. Don't get me wrong, if this is what you want, then by all means you must have it, it's just not very 'us'. And I'll get onto 'us' in a minute.So, we're gay, we've covered that bit. Now then, I am Jewish, and being Jewish comes with many lovely traditions and festivals and foods. It also means I have a Jewish mum, and as you probably know, what a Jewish mum says, goes. I'm not for one minute making out my mother is a villain, quite the opposite - she is super supportive, very liberal and extremely willing to help us with the wedding... as long as she gets what she wants. Which is fine too, as she IS helping us a lot, but it means that our once small wedding outside of London in a barn is now somewhere on the very far horizon, instead we now have an evening guest list of about 220 people.What's more, the other half, Nik, is half Indian. Personally, I would LOVE to honour some Indian traditions at our special day, but something tells me he wouldn't. To ride in on the back of an elephant or to be painted, head-to-toe, in henna is literally a dream of mine. Alas, for one reason or another, it won't be happening.So what are we doing to do? you may be thinking now. It all sounds so stressful! And it was, for a good few months. We had melt downs, arguments, toing and froing and moments of 'let's wait another year'. Luckily though, we've come through it all smiling, with what is shaping up to be an amazing wedding with a WOW venue and equally fabulous extras, all of which I'll tell you about later. Yes, we originally wanted a barn outside of London, but what we have now is even better.This is us, by the way...
I don't want to bore anyone too much, but maybe I should tell you a bit about us. We met 10 years ago in Heaven, the nightclub NOT God's playground, and after actually knowing each other for a while before but not speaking, we finally plucked up the courage and started a conversation one night. It was then, without sounding like a block of cheddar, that I knew me and him would have a future, some how.After 10 years of dating on and off, and being in and out of each other's lives, it was finally the right time - September 2011. That might put rest to some of your 'Isn't it too soon?' or 'bit of a short engagement, innit?' thoughts. It's finally time we were ACTUALLY together.So here we are. Engaged. Finally I'll be the bride instead of the bridesmaid.I have a big group of girlfriends, nine in fact, and seven of the nine are now hitched. I have two sisters, one is married. I've had many a conversation, a meeting, a crying session with almost all of them about: caterers, flowers, table centres, dresses, dresses, dresses, linen, cutlery, entertainment, you name it, I've heard it. I don't like to brag, but I'm now a bit of an expert on canapés and where to place those, erm, unimportant guests (that's what the pillars are for!).So I thought I could share some of my wedding with you, lovely reader. The exciting planning, the venues we've seen, the outfits I love, flower suggestions, all sorts! Think of it as a bit of a reference point for you, if you're planning your own gay wedding. I'd like to think I have a good eye, so hopefully you're in good hands.The first piece of advice I can give you is: breathe. Take a moment before a day or hour or minute of wedding planing and breathe. Nice and calmly. Because nine times out if 10 you'll have to try and convince a partner or difficult parent-in-law that yes, you do actually want peacock feathers in test tubes hanging from trees in your venue... Just an example.Enjoy, and let me know if you have any requests or problems and I will try and dish out my pearls of wisdom.Thanks, as always, for reading.